When will the hate stop?

I was sad to hear of the untimely death of a Williamsville North High School freshman earlier this week. The freshman killed himself because he was bullied by other students about his sexual orientation. My first thought was that poor kid. Everyone's bullied, but I wonder what incident put him over the edge, and my second thought was in these modern-day times why aren't people more tolerant of homosexuals, and then I thought why aren't people more tolerant in general - why is there STILL hatred toward people of the opposite race, gender, religion, intelligence level, disabilities, etc.

My conclusion - it starts at home - around the dinner table. Kids at very young ages can sense a parent's attitude toward specific things. If the parent makes a derogatory comment about gays or against someone who's a "dork" or against a person of color, that child processes that it's ok to degrade others.  Why aren't we sitting around the dinner table discussing tolerance? Why aren't we teaching our children to be a leader, not a follower? I'm not a parent yet, but I hope that I can teach my child values and to not only stand up for him or herself, but for others.

I, as many others, was the brunt of many jokes growing up. I was rail thin, had an abnormally large nose, and said some pretty dorky things. Today as a "grown up" I'm not necessarily thin, my nose is no longer abnormally large,  but I still say some pretty "dorky" things. As a kid, I'd crack a joke about myself to prevent someone else from making the same joke at my expense. I then turned to making jokes about others, and although at the time I didn't think I was being mean and I certainly didn't mean it to be malicious, I  shouldn't have made others laugh at someone else's expense. My thought was if I was making people laugh, they wouldn't pick on me. In retrospect, I should have stood up for others. I should have been kind to everyone. And I should have stuck up for myself, rather than showing others that I could take it when secretly I couldn't.

Today, I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I do hold some resentment for things that were said to me in high school. And although it was 10-15 years ago, and I shouldn't continue to let it bother me, I'd be lying if I said that it didn't.

I can't imagine what that poor Williamsville child was going through that day - the day he decided he couldn't take life anymore. It not only breaks my heart to think of the torment he must have felt, but also the regret that no one stood up for him. I wish someone would have told him that it gets better, and that life does not begin and end with middle or high school. It begins when you take control of your life. When you decide that you will no longer let other people's opinions bother you.  The day you realize it's ok to have bad memories, but it's not ok to let it define you.