Eureka!

I made an interesting observation/revelation this past weekend. You shouldn't criticize others until you walk in their shoes for a day. I came to this conclusion yesterday while at an in-law family function. We arrived with Marley in tow, and because she's a puppy she is a bit overzealous when meeting new people. At 4 months old, Marley can sit, lay down, give paw, catch treats and stay (although she does tend to get impatient if I make her wait too long). Nevertheless, I am a proud mama of her accomplishments, but watching a puppy and making sure she minds well is an exhausting task.

When we first arrived at the relative's home Marley was jumping and trying tirelessly to play with their 6 year old Golden Retriever. Much to Marley's dismay, Carly was not a fan. Carly growled at my pup and even nipped at her a bit - nothing overly threatening, but it still made me nervous - and after Marley lost interest in the other dog, she decided to focus her energy on the other guests. She just wanted people to pet her and love on her. I honestly did not see this as an issue, because again, she's only 4 months old and while she minds well most of the time, she still isn't 100 percent obedient. We are working really hard to stop her from jumping on people, but at 40 pounds, I simply can not hold her back ALL of the time while in the company of others. I certainly pull her back and tell her off, but I can only do so much.

After being questioned when Marley would be attending obedience school, I explained that a trainer is coming to my house tomorrow (now today) to help with her jumping habits. It was then that I was told "it's often the parents of the dog that need the training as they reward the puppy's bad behavior." I couldn't believe what I had just heard. While I admit this was not meant as a dig to me I couldn't help but go on the defensive. Marley is not a poorly behaved animal. Yes, she is a jumper, but she is a PUPPY with puppy energy. She listens to me and comes when I call her. But, as any small child would, she has difficulty focusing when there is a lot of commotion.


After about 30 minutes though, Marley settled down and stayed by my side for the majority of the remainder of the evening. After some coaxing and the offer of many dog treats, Carly even came around and horse played with Marley for a bit. By the end of the night though, I was exhausted because I went into overdrive to make sure that I could prove that my Marley was well behaved. I showed off her tricks and made sure she stayed by my side for the rest of the night. Maybe I'm a little sensitive, but I can understand how it must feel for mothers who have a hyperactive child. You want so badly for others to say how well behaved your little one is, but sometimes that's just not in the cards.  I just hope tonight's training session helps with Marley's bad jumping habits so that I never feel as though I am a bad "mom" again.


I realized through this that I should not judge others by their children's behavior. Before last night, I regularly discussed parenting skills and what I would do differently with "my kids" so that they would behave a certain way.  The truth of the matter is though you can't control everything. You can only do your best to teach your children (or in my case my puppy) to be polite, kind and to listen when they are told to do something. Sometimes, you simply cannot help it though when there is a lot of commotion and your child or puppy becomes hyper and may temporarily shut down their listening skills. It's the attention given by the others that they love and whether it's good or bad behavior while they at the center of attention they may act in a way that is out of characteristic from their regular every day routine.